Quit telling me it's going to be okay...

I have a great support system. I have an awesome God, I have a husband who loves Anabelle and I like crazy, I have parents who moved from So Cal just to be with us, and I have a church family that has given me non stop support but somehow I still feel so alone. And everyone wants to tell me "Don't worry it's going to be okay" "There are so many worse things that could be wrong" "She is such a beautiful and strong girl. She will pull through." Now, I am not at all dissing any of those people for what they have said. Im sure I've said every one of those to myself or others and I know that they and I are only speaking from our hearts when we have no idea what else to say. And I believe all of those statements to be true. But sometimes I really wish someone would just hold me, let me cry, and tell me "this freaking sucks." Because it totally does. I have done a pretty good job of being a really brave mom for the past almost 6 months, and I have honestly felt pretty secure in the situation with Anabelle but this week has been rough. I've had about enough of things being wrong with her. Last thursday we took her to the ER because her eye was drifting towards her nose. Turns out she probably has strabismus (lazy eye) and will most likely need glasses (the appointment is on the 20th) also the Dr. wants to do an MRI just to rule out any big stuff like tumor or stroke. And to add on, today after talking with the OT she thinks Anabelle should have a barium swallow study done because she probabaly has low muscle tone in her throat muscles because of her CP (we noticed she was choking a lot and coughing after every drink). Also, we've had the AFOs two weeks and she still hates them. She can't stand on her own yet and most of the time wiggles her way out of them (and they are not as easy to put back on as one might think). I hate to complain because I know there are so many other things that could be wrong. And there are so many parents that are dealng with much worse than I am, but you know you grow up hoping yours isn't the weird kid, the geeky kid, the bad kid, or the just plain different kid. I ended up with a different kid. And I love her more than words can express and I only hurt because I want the best for her.